The Ennomis Magic Feather

     It's interesting.  Sometimes there's SOMETHING that I am anxious about, that my mind obsesses on and that wont go away.  But then there are those times when there isn't anything for my anxiety to attach to - and in those times it attaches to THE FACT THAT THERE IS NOTHING.  Why?  Because the fact that there is nothing for me to be anxious about right now LEAVES SPACE for something terrifying to fill this nothingness and begin again the horror of being anxious.  When there is nothing to attach to it attaches to the worry that something will come to my mind in the next few seconds that will make me so anxious that it will ruin the rest of my day.  That I will then spend the rest of my day with my brain so clouded over that I can't think, trying to push through the clouds enough to make a path out of the storm but I can't.       So interesting. That I feel anxious, whether there is a trigger today or not.   ...

Everything is LOUD.  But when wearing earplugs the world mutes out.  I feel deaf with them on but without them I feel deafened.  Where do I go... when being IN means that I suffer but being OUT means that I feel lonely?

There is magic at the tip of my pen.  It is purple and it flows out like stardust... or like ink (same thing!).  Maybe that is why I love to design night skies purple with glowing purple stars.  It shines within me from a deep place.  That is my magic feather, and I love purple night skies.  With my magic pen, I can create anything - and I never need to hide.  I am free to be a bird with wings visiting anywhere she wants to go with no judgement about being there, and leaving when she feels ready with no pressure to stay.  I am freer than a bird with my bird feather in hand as I write with purple stardust from the tip of my pen, because there is magic at the tip of my pen.  This magic is what I can use to my transgression - I can bring characters and stories and worlds to life if I want to but only as much as I want to - I can make them as real or as imaginary as I want with the flick of my magic ink pen.  The more I write, the more I know wha...

HSP is NOT a term that defines me - it is just a term that well describes my experience. It does NOT put me in a box or pressure me to follow any "HSP rules".  It doesn't have rules.  It doesn't define who I am.  ALL IT IS is a term that I think well describes my experience. >w<